The truth of the matter is we are our own worst critic. We beat ourselves up to the point where we no longer recognize ourselves in the mirror. We see our imperfections as flaws even though we are aware that no one is perfect. We get to the point where we cannot even accomplish our goals because we are too hard on ourselves.
When we decide to go on a diet to lose weight, as soon as we eat that one bag of chips we beat on ourselves so badly that we give up on our goals. We assume that tough love will get the job done but in reality self love will take us much further. Using the same example as dieting to lose weight, this is a negative association with yourself and your goal. When a person has self love they will eat proper portions for a healthier lifestyle instead of starve themselves to lose weight for the acceptance of others.
The switch of doing it for yourself instead of doing it for others changes everything. The reasons will be deeper and more connected to you mentally therefore you will have a greater chance of accomplishing the goal.
Self love is not just physical, it is loving your identity and taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. How can you shift your mindset to fall in love with yourself?
The first thing you should do is accept your imperfections and forgive yourself for being too harsh on yourself. How can you do this? Create mantras about your imperfections and forgive them out load.
I love my body, I’m sorry I haven’t seen how beautiful I am.
I love my personality, I’m so unique. I’m sorry for not letting me shine.
I’m so smart, I love my wits and I’m sorry for not letting others see that.
Repeat these mantras that you create until you begin to truly identify with them.
From there, start falling into your individuality. Stop comparing yourself to others. As President Theodore Roosevelt stated, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This statement is indeed true when people compare out of their weaknesses. When other people are doing want is being conceived as “better” you begin to feel less of yourself. Everyone has their own journey and you take energy away from yours when you stop to see what you do not have or where you are not at because you are watching someone else live their life.
Focus on your life and quiet down that inner critic within yourself. It is a difference in pushing yourself to be a better you than pushing yourself to be someone else. You only need to compete with yourself to make you happy not to compete with others to make someone else happy or to get noticed by someone else. When you fall in line with being your true self people will gravitate to you for you and no other reason.
Begin to do what you love to do. It will be a true tragedy to go to the grave living someone’s else’s life and to never had lived your own. whatever you want to do you do it. Be and do what you feel in your heart. It is your life and you are the pilot of it. Take your control and your identity back and live for you.
Stop pretending, you might not like who you are because it is not the real you. Sit down and relearn yourself. Try getting to know who you are. Date yourself. Begin to go places that you might like, ask yourself questions, create a different circle of friends, do a lot so you can find out what you like and do not like. Rediscover yourself. Constantly remember you are enough for yourself and create boundaries for anyone who cannot accept that to protect your self love.